This article was supposed to be called “How I ran a half-marathon”. And I did, but not long after that, I realized that that’s not what it was all about. I mean, it was, at first – I did have it on my bucket list. But truly, if anything, it was more about getting into this sport and finding out what I was missing on all along.
I don’t even know where to start, because my history with running reaches quite far. Simply said, getting older – I seemed to like running less and less. I mostly took it as something I should do (because of basketball or to stay fit) rather than something I’d do voluntarily (besides those fun runs and races which I mostly did because of the medals). I didn’t like running. Why would I? It’s exhausting, and why would I want to be voluntarily exhausted?
And I guess that may be it! – Why would I want to be exhausted? Once you find the answer to that, you will fall in love with any sport. Look for your reason. But truly! And please don’t make it just something mainstream and negative. Don’t make it a “I don’t want to be fat“. Make it something good. Make it something positive and if possible, make it a process, not just a state or a one-time thing that you fulfill and that’s it. Make it “I want to be a runner” or “I want to get stronger“.
Find your own WHY
My reason? Simple. I need an abreaction. I need something that can make me forget my everyday struggles for a bit. Something that allows me to clean my mind, and lets me focus on something else fully. So that’s what running did for me. It became my little daily getaway.
Some days I needed it more than others, but later on, I went for it even when I didn’t need it at all. That’s simply how relationships work. Or how I think they should work. We should show up even when there is nothing in store for us that day. We should do it because they showed up when we were the ones in need.
So we became friends and just as with anyone else, we had our ups and downs. We laughed and we fought, and we made it through some hard times – like when some asthma tried to tear us apart. We took it easy, step by step, being nice to each other and pushing it just a tiny bit out of our comfort zone.
Asthma tried to ruin what we had, and my sore legs weren’t helping much either. But then there too were those like the NRC app who made our bond way stronger. Every guided run brought us closer and every achievement just strengthened our bond. I began to understand the differences between those runs. I found joy in running fast and strength in taking control over the longer runs. And it wasn’t always awesome, but I began to appreciate the bad/hard runs. I found a way to be actually proud even though they sucked. I gave myself credit for making it through them. Because in the end, what is more admirable – going easily through 10k with no heavier breathing, or finishing those 5k where you struggled already on the third kilometer?
Also, I figured that it was the hard times that made me better. Yes, I did do 15k but I probably wouldn’t, if there wasn’t for the asthma. Because once I knew the feeling of being literally out of breath and not being able to get much air into my lungs, those sore legs didn’t seem to be such a problem ever again. It sounds stupid, but yeah, bad things make us appreciate when things are not as bad.
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What is difficult in training will become easy in a battle.
Alexander Suvorov
I already explained, that though I got to check off that bucket list line, and though it was such a powerful moment finishing that half-marathon (as well as running it), it wasn’t really what it was about. But if you’re still questioning what helped me to cross its finish line, it was the consistency. The persistence – how I regularly showed up over and over, on good and on bad days. But hey, anyone can run a half-marathon. People run it with no training. It is very possible, for it’s more about the head than those legs. But to be honest. I don’t think I would want to do so. Not because of the muscle fever afterward, but because of this whole process, I would miss out on.
Where I have been 